guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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