Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.