She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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