If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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