Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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