all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
seriously i just wanna be friends
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.