As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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