my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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