Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize