Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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