Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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