Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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