i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
