SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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