I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
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and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.