btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.