What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll