don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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