i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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