Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
a search helicopter?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..