yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.