It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.