HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go