Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
