He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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