I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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