oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
