he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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