I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize