Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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  (303): maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing... http://tfl.nu/2fyx
  Replies (11) Good night (1241) Bad night (3945)
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  (+81): View more from

  Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me

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  (+81): Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me http://tfl.nu/yr11
  Replies (28) Good night (4587) Bad night (993)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.

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  (480): Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck. http://tfl.nu/qoqh
  Replies (41) Good night (1213) Bad night (5183)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.

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  (443): There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you. http://tfl.nu/nqul
  Replies (15) Good night (3596) Bad night (1619)
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  (909): View more from California

  He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.

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  (909): He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult. http://tfl.nu/s4nn
  Replies (8) Good night (3015) Bad night (1071)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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  (623): Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes. http://tfl.nu/phpt
  Replies (1) Good night (1759) Bad night (915)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  where do you find these guys?

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  (413): he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight' (860): where do you find these guys? http://tfl.nu/yte1
  Replies (14) Good night (2904) Bad night (1318)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.

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  (860): Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/foqn
  Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (1508)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.

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  (603): It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders. http://tfl.nu/0knl
  Replies (3) Good night (1233) Bad night (1044)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.

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  (724): The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost. http://tfl.nu/1p7q
  Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (690)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level

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  (603): i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level http://tfl.nu/sciw
  Replies (4) Good night (479) Bad night (1199)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive

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  (412): The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive http://tfl.nu/jyc3
  Replies (3) Good night (1542) Bad night (540)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH

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  (917): SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH http://tfl.nu/uo9d
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (1324)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.

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  (612): Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding. http://tfl.nu/ep7t
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (544)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.

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  (215): It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics. http://tfl.nu/pu5z
  Replies (4) Good night (398) Bad night (162)

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