yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I enjoy the company of your penis