I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize