He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
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I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.