put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them