Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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