He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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