So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself