So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
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And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
lying in bed pretending to be a slug