i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?