im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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