The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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