i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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