i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
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We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
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Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.