just come out here and I will go home with you...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016