life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now