I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.