Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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