his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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