after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize