I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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