Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
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I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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