thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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