One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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