An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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