WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
