Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
