Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize