I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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