Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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