Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.