You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.