Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND