party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
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It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order