I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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