the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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