OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality