You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.