thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
